1. White modified thinset.
2. Your layout depends on many factors. It's not really possible to answer that question without seeing a diagram or pictures of your kitchen.
3. You can use most anything for spacers. Pieces of cardboard, toothpicks, anything will work. I would use a trim piece if the finished edge of the tile was not acceptable, but only where it would show, such as where the cabinets end. There's no reason to put trim where the trim meets the counter or the upper cabinets. Those areas will be caulked with a color-matched grout caulk.
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The top ten reasons to procrastinate:
1.